i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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