This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
