I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
