Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
there is glitter all over my balls
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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