Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
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Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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