Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
