Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
