You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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