I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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