So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
