If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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