the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
