Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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