Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I fill condoms, not promises.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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