I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
