I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
