ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
