Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
