I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize