You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
