woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
