this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
