quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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