Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
