im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It's never too late to be topless.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
