WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
