is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
