I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
