Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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