none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
