what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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