I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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