Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm really busy with my period
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