Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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