i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
