Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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