Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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