is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He better not be in your backpack
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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