allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
