before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
