When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
