She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
