Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it hurts more in the daytime
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
