Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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