I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
