Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
