i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
