apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think I just sharted jello shots
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
