So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
