i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
