Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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