where am i from again
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
