I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
