Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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