Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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