I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
