yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
