if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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