Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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