Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
