I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize