I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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